The Life That Got Away

I still think about you sometimes,
In my dreams and in my mind,
Of cherished memories and joyful times,
The happiness I left foolishly behind.

If I stayed,
I would have been so much better.
I would be open instead of caved,
I would be stone instead of feather.

I would be playing outside again,
Having my best friend and troubles insignificant.
Be out till the day's end and no need to mend,
Without daring that my imagination could just be a figment.

I would have been popular,
I would have my first party,
My first girlfriend, my first kiss,
Everything to experience as a teenager.

But God changes your plans,
He abruptly, violently, destroyed my childhood,
Equaling life, in his loving hands,
Losing "I would."

I now cry every day and night, 
Death became a friend in thoughts,
My family and I always fight,
All tied down in a prison, caught.

What have I done to deserve this?
Was this design or a flaw in the system?
Either way, it produced kisses of a fist,
In exchange for useless wisdom.

My biggest mistake,
Will forever remain,
In my last goodbye to the only person that ever mattered,
"I won't miss you."

Thus is the tale of the life that got away.