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Submitted on
April 18
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When my time comes,
I will finally be free from the evil of this world.
I will be ready.
Take me to the Lord.

Please let me in,
Into the pearly white gates.
I want in,
To see the faces of my beloved.

I want to roam the golden paved streets,
Sing in harmony with the angels,
Live in the mansions.
I want to experience the foretold place.

Let me in the clouds,
The light mist of Bel Air.
Breathe in the fumes of holy,
And relax after the long, past life.

Do not deny me entrance,
I will not let this happen.
Gargoyles of stone,
Do not mock me.

Tilt head back,
Eye lids close,
Lay back. Please grant me my halo.
Welcome home.

Da dam la di da,
Ah ah ah,
Ohhhh, oooooo,
Mmmmmm.


Dreams do come true.
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:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey there,

:iconprettyflour: here on behalf of :iconpoeticalcondition: with the critique you requested.  

On first read, I thought this might be a poem about someone welcoming death, but now that I have read it through, I think it's about someone who deeply craves peace. I'g glad my first impression was wrong, I find the subject of peace much more refreshing than death. 

Overall, I found your word choices to be simple and apt, the poem flows nicely and there is some serious emotion in your words.  Great work.
Thank you for sharing your words.
:)
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:icondeathmonster777:
DeathMonster777 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks so much!
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:iconangelenroute:
angelenroute Featured By Owner May 11, 2014  Professional Writer
Hi, Sean here from We-Poets FINALLY stopping by with the critique you requested.

When my time comes,
I will finally be free from the evil of this world.
***Just a personal note, but whether you intend it or not, you come across as a harsh judge of people everywhere in a line like this, and I hope you'll see that many so-called evil people of this world are angels struggling under the harshness of the world we live in.  I know you didn't use the phrase evil people, just "evil of this world", so I fully apologize if I'm reading you wrong!  I just want to make sure I mention how hard it came across.

Eye lids close,
***Eyelids is one word

Warm wishes,
Sean
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:icondeathmonster777:
DeathMonster777 Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
its fine, thank you
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:iconninjawhovian:
Ninjawhovian Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Quite amazing

I feel your pain :hug: 
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:icondeathmonster777:
DeathMonster777 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
well, this wasn't pain to me. i wrote this to show that death should be peaceful and i kinda can't wait to die. everyone should be able to accept death and embrace it when it's time to go 
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:icontheycallmepacasso:
TheyCallMePacasso Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
AMAZING!Wow! 
You brought me to tears a bit. :Tears: 
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:icondeathmonster777:
DeathMonster777 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
awww thanks so much!!!that means a lot
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:icontheycallmepacasso:
TheyCallMePacasso Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem, that's pretty much how I view things like that when it's my time to go, but it's not anytime time soon:) (Smile) 
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:iconsosimplysimple:
SoSimplySimple Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I really do love the light, pious imagery and how it lightly contrast with the "dark" imagery,"Do not deny me entrance, I will not let this happen. Gargoyles of stone, Do not mock me. Tilt head back, Eye lids close, Lay back." But I really do like this :) Great Job
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